The 6 Pack Economist

I guess my hatred of apple began when I was lowly service tech at computer city.  This hippy moron came in and described the problems he was having with his computer and printer or something else, I don’t remember.  But he did not use words like printer instead he called it the wolverine.  His monitor was the owl, and the box was the elephant or something else.  I should have bought weed off him because he obviously had some good shit. 

 So this moron who took the whole mouse naming convention way to far was trying to tell me his printing problem but instead of telling me it would not respond when he wanted to print, he told me the wolverine would not talk to the elephant and I don’t know why because the go along so well before.  I am freaking serious.

 I finally gave up and just signed everything in for the service people and said it would not print and to see me for details. 

 Later I had a very nasty conversation with a MAC book user who came up to me slammed his computer down on the counter and said something to the effect “You are morons and after a month of being in the shop my mac book does not work”.  I was calm, mainly because I did not give a shit, and asked him what the problem was.  “It doesn’t even turn the f%^& on.  It beeps and lights turn on but that’s it.”  I said let me see. 

 For bonus points can anyone guess what is wrong?

 The dimmer was all the way down.

 His face was priceless.

 Most Mac or apple people who came by were not nearly as aggravating most were just clueless.  And it was kinda cute. 

 In fact I thought about getting an apple or the clone that was out about that time,  “power computering” or something.  But when I went to the software isle to look for games there was basically nothing.  Went to the hardware isle, again nothing.  Then came the price and that did it.  So I went with a brand new windows 3.11 4mb Ram computer and went home.

 After computer city I only had to deal with a mac one more time.  This time I was sent to install photoshop on some computers for a business client.  It was a one day job for a contracting company I worked with and it was a flat pay assignment.  If it took me an hour or eight hours same price.  I install photoshop in about an hour and everything works just fine.  At least after I figured out how to put the CD in the tray (no button on the tray).  

But then the kicker came.  They wanted to update the OS to the latest version that they just got.  I calmly said to myself, “they are apple people and really don’t understand how computers work and that an OS install is a big deal”.  I tried my best to talk them out in a polite way but they eventually were able to get me to do it.

 It started off easy enough, that is what I remember anyway.  I reboot to finalize the installation and wham the freaking sad face.  No error messages, no I don’t like this software, or this hardware thingy isn’t working. Just a sad face.  What the f^&* am I supposed to do with this? 

I spent the next 6 hours turning stuff on and off in the config screen till they worked.  Well sort of worked.

Now  go to the Ipod rant.