The 6 Pack Economist

Deep inside the stimulus bill was a series of rules and regulations relating to healthcare records.  I highly suggest you read this link about the healthcare record system.  Did you read it yet?  Seriously just read the article. 

Ok now that you are back and hopefully you are scared.  If you are not scared then you did not read the article.  The stimulus package has essentially setup a great big database to keep track of your health records.  The basic idea is pretty noble.  Unfortunately it will not stay that way.

Let’s start off with the comedic result of this debacle since laughter is still not tracked. 

Heather recognizes her husband is having a heart-attack and calls 911.  Lucky for her she called during regular business hours so someone picked up.  Unfortunately she was directed to the non-heart related emergencies and had to call back.  When she called back it turned out that it was during a mandatory break period.  Heather gave up and dragged her husband into the back of the car.

Heather arrives at the Barney Frank memorial hospital but she cannot find a parking place.  She double parks and drags her husband to the emergency room.  With her husband in her arms she goes to the nurse’s station.  There are four people ahead of her.  Two have what looks like broken limbs of some sort, another has a bloody rag on his head, and one other is hacking away. 

After 10 minutes she moves to the front of the line to let the nurse know that this is an emergency.  The nurse responds that she is helping another patient.  But the nurse’s four inch long neon colored nails are preventing her from efficiently punching in the current patients name and address.  Heather drags her husband back to the end of the line again.

Forty minutes later she reaches the front of the line.  Shortly after explaining the symptoms her husband has the nurse tells Heather that she is in the wrong line.  The line for heart related emergencies is down the hall and to the left.  Heather exhausted by this point can barely explain the symptoms to the nurse at the heart related emergency counter.  Mid way through the explanation the nurse informs Heather that it is time for her break and walks away.  A new nurse sits down but the new nurse informs heather that she does not have the proper paper work for this emergency and proceeds to call a supervisor. 

The supervisor comes over to try and help out.  In between taking bites out of his ham and cheese sandwich he punches a few numbers into the computer and then allows heather to drag her husband to a bed. 

The doctor comes over to see her husband.  Heather believing her husband is only unconscious is relieved to see a doctor.  The doctor lifts up the husband’s wrist, pronounces him dead and walks out the room.   Heather in a fit rage screams at the doctor but he keeps walking away only the words “security please” are heard. 

Heather is thrown on the curb.  She is crying and gasping and sees her car is now being towed away.  In shock she has a heart-attack.   She is dead too.

Ok it is not that funny unless you have a dark, dry, and sarcastic humor like me.  In all seriousness I don’t think the system will break down like this quickly.  Instead it will take years for it to happen but gradually it will break down.  If you are one of the truly rich I would not worry as you will still be able to get care.  It is everyone else that will get screwed.