The 6 Pack Economist

I am sure that Black Beard, Blue Beard, and Jack Sparrow are rolling over in their grave watching these poorly styled amateurs pretending to be pirates.  I mean what happened to pride.  These guys are running around in Uncle Billy Bob’s dingy.  I want frilly shirts and Eye patches damnit!

I am happy to see that a ship full of American merchant marines fought off a group of these poor excuses for pirates.  But then you have some jerks stating that they should have just hung around and waited to be ransomed like a bunch of …..  Well place your favorite nationality here.  

The International Maritime Bureau basically wants the crews of these ships not to take any action once boarded.  Even prior to boarding they do not want the crews to take any lethal force just speed up and spray water on the attackers.  Unfortunately the people making the rules do not understand basic animal instinct.  And these guys are just animals.  Rule of the jungle states that “the weak and easy targets are eaten first”.   

I think (for whatever the hell that is worth) they should immediately change the rules.  The crews of these merchant vessels should be instructed in how to repeal invaders.  Ships should be equipped small arms and the crew should be trained in their use. 

This will immediately increase the cost of being a pirate.    Remember I believe in the whole risk and reward ratio.  This pirating business has become such a boon because there is no cost to the pirates.  They show up in a boat that seems to be something you would rent to go fishing while vacationing at the sea shore.  The crews of ships just stepped aside while the pirates took over ship and made the call to the company for ransom.  I think the call went something like this.

Somali Pirate: “Hello, Damnit a god damn machine”
Corporate Computer Answering Service: “Press 1 for English, Pora Espanol dos” (I don’t speak Spanish sorry)
Somali Pirate: “I am going to go with English is just makes everything easier with the banks”
Corp Comp: “If you know your parties extension dial it now or press 1 for more options”
Somali Pirate: “What is that guys extension.  Damn it where did I put that number.  Oh here it is”
Corp Comp: “Now transferring you to:  Ransom Department”
Somali Pirate: “I hate waiting on hold. This is the problem with the ransom business.  So much competition that I have to wait on hold now for 30 minutes.”
Corp Comp: “Your call is very important to us please continue to hold”
Somali Pirate: “What bull shit.  If it was that important you would pick up the phone”
30 more minutes later.
Ransom Department: “ Hello may I help you”
Somali Pirate: “Yes I took control of the ‘We are big Wussies’ cargo ship and would like to be paid.”
Ransom Department: “Do you currently have an account with us?”
Somali Pirate: “Oh yes of course, I am not an amateur.  Account number is  ‘1231######’” (I have to protect the Pirates identity)
Ransom Department: ”Is your TaxId still the same.  And you are aware that this money must be reported as income per the IRS”
Somali Pirate: “Everything is still the same.”
Ransom Department: “And how much should we pay this time”
Somali Pirate: “I am running a special this week.  Since I have two of your ships I will give them both back to you for 15 million”
Ransom Department: “Seems reasonable,  you will see the money in about 12 hours”
Somali Pirate: “Oh thank you very much.  Nice Doing business with you”
Ransom Department:  “Please do not hesitate call for your next ransom, good bye”

These guys have set up a smooth process oriented business around this ransom business.  Well until recently that is.  This small act of defiance, despite the danger, will force the pirates to think twice once it is known that someone might fight back.  It won’t deter many, unless more crews fight back.  The turning point will be when some pirates actually get killed in trying to take over the ship.  The escalation will continue as both groups begin a little arms race and more people will die.  In the end though the pirates will be forced to take more precautions and the gold mine of pirating will decrease.  Those that stay in the business will have to up-gun themselves.

The act of up-gunning themselves will be the undoing of the groups.  Primarily the reason why they could not take these rinky dinky boats out to go do pirating is they would not stand up to the job.  They will have make or modify boats specifically for the purpose of raiding ships.  These ships will be more easily spotted and chased down.  The boats will be spotted at the bases of operations and then one night a squad of SAS or Seals leave a bunch of dead bodies.

This brings everything back to a very simple point of life.  If you don’t fight for yourself you will get walked over.  Once you are known as someone who will not fight back, then everyone else around you will also walk over you too.  On the other hand if you are known as not taking peoples crap then those around you will not give you any crap.  They will even think twice about giving you crap that you deserve.  Why, because it comes with a cost, the cost of you fighting back.