The 6 Pack Economist

Beer was by far the most important invention of civilization. The wheel, irrigation, sliced bread, nothing stands up to beer. Without it where would civilization be? Probably still using barley for breads or something not nearly as important as beer. This magical brew was most likely stumbled upon sometime around the dawn of civilization. Who knew at the time it would cause so much stumbling from then on.

From the ancient Sumerians to the Egyptians, the dawn of civilizations have mentions of beer brewing. Brewing and the art of brewing was so important to the Egyptians, the ancient scribes had a hieroglyphic symbol for the Brewer. The first beer was most likely a wonderful mistake. Basically some kid not listening to his parents forgot to take in the barley. His parents must have told him a thousand times, but he lives in a desert and it is not like it will rain or something. Low and behold it rains. He panics and hides the barley. Later with his buddies they see a bowl of these soggy grains. Each one dares the other to eat it. This was Egypt. They did not have frozen polls to stick their tongues to. As most young boys do, he fell to peer-pressure. Then each of them tried to eat more then the other. I am sure the alcohol did not help in moderating these boys. This was the beginning of a long love affair between man and beer.

Who first discovered this magical brew is under some controversy. Both Sumerians and the Egyptians have claims to it. Either way it started where the major civilizations began. This brings up another chicken or the egg controversy. Beer showed up at the very start of civilization. So did humans settle down to make beer or did beer start from civilization? Who cares? It’s more important that we have both.

Beer was a valuable source of protein for early civilization as the fermentation process adds protein to what is really a wet rotten piece of bread. It was also a lot more fortified in vitamins then today’s Budweiser. The filtering process takes much of vitamins out of the beer while leaving badly flavored water and alcohol. Yes, I do not like Bud or any major brew. The original brews were cloudy with yeasts, particles of barley, and various flavorings added throughout history.

Because beer was so valuable to humans they took it with them as they migrated. As humans moved away from the Fertile Crescent, they brought their recipe for brew with them. Changing the recipe based upon natural occurring plants and cultivated crops. Beer traveled west to Greece and Italy, north to Russia, west to Germany and the Nordic lands, east through Persia to China, and finally south to Africa. Each land it met it changed with the people. Honey, ginger, raspberries, and hops were added until in the Middle Ages, when German brewers more or less nailed down the basic beer formula of barley, water, hops, and yeast.

One of the great sanctuaries of brewing was the monasteries. While Islam in the Middle East was outlawing alcohol, Catholicism was perfecting it. These monks many times would go for long fasts, although they did leave a loop hole for themselves. They could drink. And drink they did. The monastery beers were some of the best in Europe. These beers were of course not the tradition bad tasting water brews but the thick hearty ales of old.

When the new world was found beer traveled there too. In fact, the United States was a perfect example of what accomplished and perfected beer could be like. Many of the founding fathers were home brewers. In addition many of the meetings between the leading members of the rebellion met in pubs. The English began taxing beer just like the tea because of the rebellious meetings held in the pubs. In fact, the Boston tea party very nearly became the Boston beer party. When faced with the choice of beer or tea they of course threw over the tea. The enemy’s beer is still after all, beer. If you think about it, the United States started from a severe case of “beer muscles”; a group of farmers taking on the greatest empire on the face of the earth. I think beer played a role in the gross over estimation of one’s own superiority.

Beer, where would civilization be without it? What nice conversation to have over a few brews. I will bring a few of mine; you bring a few of yours and let’s chat. I believe that a quote from one of the great thinkers our time will close this paper nicely “Beer, it is both solution and the reason for all my problems”. Homer J Simpson.

Information was gathered from:

http://www.portsmouthbrewery.com/htmlpages.portsmouth/historyofbeer.html

http://www.beerinstitute.org/history1.htm

http://www.eat-online.net/english/habits/history_of_beer_main.htm

When they came for cigarettes,  I did not speak up
When they came for porn, I did not speak up
When they came for my beer, I was freaking too drunk to speak anyway.

There is nothing like slaughtering the golden goose.  Oregon wants to raise the tax on a barrel of beer by  about 1900% or something like 2.50 a barrel to upwards of 50.00 a barrel.  If you don’t know a barrel of beer is about 31 gallons or two kegs.  In Pennsylvania a keg will run you about 60 bucks for something descent.  So if this was happening in Pennsylvania it would be an additional 25 bucks or almost a 50% surcharge in the price of keg of beer.  You can decide if you think that this is too much, but for me I think it is just a money grab.

You know that I could not preach about something after this but here goes.  Taxes should never have to increase if they are based on a percentage of something.  By something I mean income, stamps, tea, or beer.  In other words if taxes are taken as a percentage of the cost of something then they will automatically adjust with inflation. 

Unfortunately taxes are taken by a group of people who are not held accountable.  Go over budget and the next year you get more money.  Do poorly with the money you have, just ask for more.  Achieve goals and do it for less then you thought, then you lose your budget to someone who did poorly.  This is why taxes never really go down. 

What really sucks is that for you in Oregon, crying in your beer will cost you a lot more.  Oh and they want to raise the taxes on your cigarettes too.

Guinness is probably my favorite beer that I can get everywhere.  Meaning its a beer I can go into any airport in the world and have a good chance of getting one. 

Guinness’s website is pretty good but you have to enter your age before you enter.  Someone thinks you can get drunk by looking at the page or something.  I seriously don’t get the whole age filter thing what really is the point.  Who cares if some kid under the legal drinking age learns about the creation of guinness.

If you have never had a guinness before your first one can be hard to get down if you drink it incorrectly.  Most people will sip the top for the first time and only taste the bitter head.  They will then put the beer down and ask you why the hell you drink that crap.   But if they drink it correctly it can greatly change their opinion.  If your first time at drinking guinness did not end with some of the creamy head on your nose you did not drink it correctly.  Try again. (Upon second reading I can’t believe the amount of sexual innuedos in this paragraph)

I have to say that the taste of guinness can vary from region to region but it is still best in Ireland.  I know that it is passe to say that it is best in Ireland, but it really is.  I have to say that I only had one bad guinness in my life time and that was at a dive bar that had the old style bottles without the widget.

Guinness Draught is a stout or porter.  This type of beer was created out of a screwup.  Basicly they burnt the grain and sold it a discount to the local pubs.  The pubs discounted it and the porters (dock workers) drank it because it was cheaper.  So that is how this type of beer got its name.  Well a particular Mr Guinness happen to like this type of beer and decided to perfect it in his version called Guinness Stout.

If you are expecting a thick or heavy beer you will be suprised.  Guinness is remarkably light when drinken correctly. 

Its good and you should pick one up next time your are out.  And it has more then a quarter inch of head send it back and tell them to do a two stage pour.